The day you get married is generally considered to be one of the best days of your life. When you and your partner take your vows in front of your friends and family, and promise to love each other for the rest of your lives.
But this doesn’t always go to plan. Husbands and wives fall out of love, have bitter arguments, affairs, and other conflicts that can prove fatal to the integrity of marriage. A colossal 40 to 50% of marriages end up in divorce, so you might be forgiven for thinking there’s nothing you can do when your relationship starts to fall apart.
But you shouldn’t be so quick to throw it all away. If your marriage isn’t going well, a divorce is the death sentence. Before you go down this route, consider whether there is anything you can do to resolve things. You might want to make it work for the sake of your children, or because you both want to go back to the way things were at the start. And many couples do go through rough patches and make it through to the other side. You just need to be committed to making it work.
If you are having a tough time in your marriage, here are four tips to help you fix it.
Be Honest With Yourself
When you’re going through a rocky patch in your relationship, it’s easy to blame your partner for everything that’s gone wrong. “She doesn’t listen to my feelings.” “He never helps out around the house.” But more often than not, you are both at fault. Rather than blaming your partner for the state of your marriage, take a good look at yourself and own up to your flaws. See yourself from your partner’s point of view and consider how your behavior might have contributed to your broken marriage.
Have a Talk
You will never be able to resolve conflict without talking about the issue. Arrange time to sit down with your partner to talk reasonably and openly about your relationship. Each of you should be given a chance to speak about your perception of the situation without interruption or judgment. Most importantly, you need to listen. As a result, you may both change your perspective on the problem and come up with solutions for moving forwards.
Go to Counseling
Many couples turn their nose up at marriage counseling, but it can be an enormously effective way of bringing people back together. It provides a platform for both of you to talk about your feelings, and use tried-and-tested strategies for working things out. Your marriage counselor will have seen everything before, so will have the experience and the qualification to suggest what’s best for you.
Don’t Settle for a Bad Situation
In many cases, it will be possible to fix your marriage. However, you should never settle for a bad situation that is harmful to your wellbeing. If you are in a toxic relationship that is detrimental to your physical or mental health, it will be better for you to get out of it. Talking to a law firm such as Boulder Legal Group will help you begin the divorce proceedings.